When Facts Do Not Equal Knowledge

There are certain questions that both baffle and annoy every teacher. They baffle because one wonders why the student decided to ask this question in the first place because it had no place in the discussion. It annoys because the point of the question was not to gather knowledge but rather point out lack of desire on the part of the student to learn this or any other material. What is that question?

"Why do I have know this?"

I was given the opportunity in the last week to enter the western civilization class for freshmen at our school. They had just finished the Renaissance and were entering the period of the Reformation. I was invited to lecture on the Reformation and decided to use it as an opportunity not to preach but to educate the students on the basic theological concepts which stirred such heated debate. It is not everyday that these students gain insight into the roots of why people have theological arguments. My goal was to show them that during the Reformation people were passionate about their salvation and that they were very concerned about their relationship with God and the Church. I hoped that the students would use those insights to gain knowledge about religion can have a significant role in how people think, feel, and act in this world.

Unfortunately I ran into a brick wall. I want to say first and foremost that the few students who asked these questions do not represent the more than 60 that I taught. They don't even represent the entire section of the class they were in. But what they said, and the attitude they demonstrated against learning something they weren't used to is indicative of a dangerous attitude many young people of this generation, and older generations as well, use as a defense mechanism against caring and involvement. Instead of seeing the world outside of themselves as a place rich with knowledge where they are called to learn about others and through that learning gain insight into themselves, they instead view the world as an opportunity for personal advancement, where they are able to use a system of education to attain the ideal lifestyle.

This begins at an early age and is only compounded in high school and college. Students in many high schools are encouraged to find careers, not vocations (vocations in the sense of what one would dedicate their life and passion to). Their parents and peers inform them that there is no deeper meaning to life beyond comfort and self-indulgence, followed by a security earned through a high-paying job and the proper connections. What is excluded is God, his love, and his will. There is no room for self-reflection. There is no room for a soul.

The sad irony is that when tragedy strikes, which it always does, these same individuals who have wanted nothing to do with God will then ask "why did God allow this to happen?' or "if God is so loving, why doesn't he take this pain away?".

As Christians we are called to love God with all our hearts, our minds, and all our souls. This called is tied intimately to the amount of energy we exert trying to get to know this God of the universe who created us, love us, and wants a relationship with us. It is why we are called to preach the Good News, because not everyone has heard it yet! The challenge I feel is to see these students as needing Christ in their life, as needing the love that only God can provide. I have to remember that my heart is not perfectly open and that it still hardens when God wants most to break it open.

The question that remains is how we will reach out to students about this wonderful faith when it feels like we don't even speak the same language, when words like salvation, sin, and grace have little or no meaning.

In the Line of Duty

Today for the second time in less than a month a police officer has been killed in the line of duty in the city of St. Petersburg. All three deaths were brutal and unexpected. All three have left a gaping wound in a community that extends far beyond just one city but instead to a community comprised of men and women who live their lives protecting others.

Seeing this tragedy made me reflect on a key question. I've often asked my students to place themselves in the shoes of people who have had to make difficulty decisions or sacrifices. I've asked them to state how they would respond. My question is not if I would engage in a conflict with criminals in an effort to protect citizens from physical harm. Rather, my question has been brewing since the last All Saints Day.

On that day armed gunmen killed two priests in a Catholic Church in Iraq, along with many parishioners in a despicable act of violence and persecution. Those priests were willing to be martyrs for their faith in a part of the world where the term "Christian" goes hand in hand with threat of death. As an individual who is striving to the priesthood, to enter into that brotherhood of men and women across the world whose goal is to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to bring God's love, mercy, and forgiveness while always striving to help souls, the question is if I would do the same.

The truth is that there is no way to know what we will do. Christ even tells us not to prepare beforehand what we will say. We are to trust in the Holy Spirit given to us by Christ. We are to depend on God in our moments of deepest despair and distress. It is when we look to other motivations and other sources of strength that we find our strength failing.

There are brave men and women in all manner of vocations who will gladly trade their lives for ours, who would put themselves in physical or spiritual harms way. Let us always honor them and their sacrifice.

Egypt is Free!

One cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy at the realization of a decades long struggle for a people who have suffered under dictatorial rule. It is moments such as these that humanity as a whole can rejoice at the value of freedom and pause for a moment to reflect on the precious freedoms we enjoy and so often take for granted. These reminders of the price of liberty help us to place in perspective our own struggles.

My sincere prayer is that the sacrifices offered by all Egyptian people will yield equality for all Egyptian people. Women, the poor, and other minority religious groups such as Christians deserve a new place in this country's future. The challenge now will be to build a country that values all people equally.

As Christians we must place the struggle for political, economic, and social freedom in the context of our spiritual struggle. However our struggle finds fruition not in the fight against tyranny, and never violence, but rather in the surrender of our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls to the will of God. Uttering this sentence may seem to be most abstract declaration one can make in a world where we are constantly called to action for a cause. However, before we can act in the service of God we must first pause, and allow God to work in us.

There is a constant temptation for us to believe that we can do all things by ourselves. Our studies of scripture, theology, and the Church, our service to others, and the recognition of our gifts are all meaningful components of a healthy spiritual life. But if we do not acknowledge that all these are gifts from God then we have placed the glory for salvation and grace on the crown of our heads as a laurel.  When Paul reflects on the strength that comes from his weakness he is not humiliating himself. Instead, he is placing his life and influence in the proper perspective.  As servants of God we are instruments of his grace. In fulfilling our call we are not becoming God, just answering the call to imitate him.

Today is a day of celebration for the Egyptian people. Tomorrow will be the day when the real work of building a nation begins. I pray that God will bless them with patience and sound judgement, and that they will protect the innocent and the one's who have always been closest to the heart of Jesus Christ.

Asking God's Forgiveness in the Digital Age

The moment I saw the headline I knew that I would have to write a commentary on it.  "Catholic Church Approves Confession App". The article in the Washington Post was brief but upon further investigation I discovered that the app in question was seemingly harmless, seemingly. There are two real harms taking place here and while one is considerably worse than the other I am not sure that I could ever approve or either.

The Iphone application in question costs a reasonable $1.99. It was developed by a private firm in Indiana and given the imprimateur by a bishop to make it officially allowed to be used by Roman Catholics. The purpose of the application is to serve as a tool whereby the user can have a thorough examination of conscience before entering the confessional. On the surface it appears to be harmless but a question arises when we begin to discuss the theological implications involved (darn those theologians) and spiritual health and development of those using it.

In full disclosure I am not Roman Catholic. For the first 30 years of my life I was a participating member in full communion with Rome. However, my views on issues of authority and collegiality, as well as a persistent call to fulfill my vocation as a priest led away from the Rome to the Episcopal Church. If the Episcopal Church were to endorse this app I would denounce that with the same veracity as I do at this time.

Growing up there was always a disconnect between the theology of the sacrament of reconciliation and its practice. I learned about the importance of going to confession regularly. I agreed with that  and I still do. I feel that just as we go to the doctor for our physical health that we should seek out a spiritual physician regarding the health of our soul. Ideally I would be able to speak to someone who has experienced sin in their own lives, dealt with sin in a community setting and could offer me guidance on how to deepen my prayer life.  Unfortunately, the reality of most confessional experiences I have had, and I fear many others as well, is the 3 minute "please list your sins, followed by an absolution". I am not  implying that every priest or every penitent has this experience. But with fewer priests to offer the sacrament, and still a healthy number of people going to confession, the constraints of time are being felt. Also, priests are finding many penitents that are wholly unprepared to receive the sacrament and have to be talked through its basics. This is where the Iphone application comes in. It provides the examination of conscience and a way to gain insight as to how our spiritual life with God has been developing since we last checked. What pains me is that this application could become a crutch whereby people lean on it and resort to giving a list of their offenses rather than delving deeper into the roots of their sinfulness. It is when we are able to understand how our sins affect others, ourselves, and our relationship with God that we gain insight into the covenantal nature of God's love. Sin becomes less about the breaking of a law and more about realizing our place in God's creation and how we are called to love and virtue.

I agree that the Roman Catholic Church is not promoting this as a replacement to the sacrament. But promoting it as an official tool only propagates the archaic notions that have taught about the proper way to seek forgiveness. I'll openly state that while I am still learning about the practice of seeking forgiveness in my new home the Episcopal Church I am finding that it is not perfect either. But I contend that the theology of presenting oneself before God in prayer and trusting in his forgiveness is a viable option. However, I also feel that it is but one "tool in the toolbox" and not the only one. Community repentance and face to face confession should also be employed when necessary.

While my qualm with the Iphone application was theological, the second is ethical. In learning how this app was developed I came to learn that it was through the private sector. My question is if individuals should be charged for materials such as these that directly inform and educate their spiritual development. Couldn't the Church have developed this application on their own and provided it free of charge to every person who wanted this in their toolbox? This demonstrates clearly how the Church, and many other religious organizations, will always remain one step behind the technology of the times.

At the end of the day I have found that seeking forgiveness for one's sins can be a humbling, difficult, and sorrowful process. While it is essential that we have tools that helps us along the way, it is even more vital that we depend on the men (and women if you are Episcopalian), who have been trained to be our spiritual advisors. In the future if I am fortunate enough to be ordained I won't mind if a penitent comes to me with their Iphone in hand discussing their examination of conscience. After they have finished I will ask them to close the app and speak from the heart as to what has brought them forward to seek forgiveness and what God is placing on their hearts now about his love and the mercy he has extended to everyone through the death of his only son Jesus Christ. I guarantee you there isn't an app for that.

The Question of Questioning Faith

I never cease to be amazed by the diversity of religious experiences I encounter among young people. Some of them have little if any contact with their spirituality, pushing it aside because it interferes with what the world tells them. Others are very in tune, but still in danger of letting their piousness become arrogance. In the middle are those who are agonizing over whether or not to ask the most important question of their lives: "Does God exist?". I say that they are agonizing over whether or not to ask the question because deciding first is there is a question to answer will determine what path you will take. If you decide that there isn't a question because God doesn't exist then you have already chosen the path of least resistance. You have stopped before you even started. Yet if you decide that there is a question and that you are unsure of the answer then you are ahead of the game than even many devout followers of religion.

Questioning our faith in God is not only natural but necessary. It is through asking questions about who God is, what role he has our lives, and how we feel about him that we come to understand if just a little what life is all about. I myself am glad that I questioned my childhood faith while in college because it helped me tear down the extraneous structures built around my faith and left me with the most important component of all: Christ.  I discovered that Jesus Christ is at the center, and that if he isn't then I am off the path on which God wants me to be.

This stream of consciousness has come about after a discussion with a student. I was given the opportunity to ask them questions about their faith, about who they thought God was, and what that meant for her. She surprised me by being so frank. She told me that she wasn't sure if God existed. She wondered if she believed only because others believed and that her faith wasn't genuine. I told her that she was very wise for her age. I told her that it was important to question her faith and that doing so was not offensive to God. In fact, it gave her an amazing opportunity to draw closer to God in a personal way that was closer than she had ever experienced. I encouraged her to pray more, to listen closer at the mass, and to listen more than anything to what God was placing on her heart.

I think she appreciated the talk and how honest I was about my own doubts. Raising children in this world is difficult. We wonder how we are to grow their faith when it seems so fall. But we must remember that the kingdom of God belongs to the little children. Their faith may be child-like but it is by no means small.  My sincere prayer is that we will draw closer to God by asking him to draw closer to us. Our souls are meant for him and we must strive to open them a little more each day.

Ethically Speaking #3

The latest ethical dilemma I have presented to my students does not involve anything dramatic as the choice between two children or the surrender of one's life for another. Rather, it tackles the day to day areas of our lives that are governed by choices we often make without thinking twice. I posed to them the follow question:

Each day Americans purchase countless goods that are manufactured overseas. These goods are made by people who make far less than any worker in the United States. In many cases the conditions in which they work are deplorable and nothing that our laws would allow here (in theory). However, though we know that these abuses of human rights occur we still purchase the products. Are we in violation of our ethics? Why of why not? What should our course of action be in relation to the personal cost and difficulty in may involve?

The question is simple but the issues it raises are anything but. I will not lie. I am a hypocrite. I knowing consume goods that were created in places where the conditions are as such that I would not to work there or have my children work there. I give the example of Apple Inc.  The issues surrounding workers and suicide are well documented at the factories in China that churn out Iphones, Ipads, and other electronics. But this knowledge has not deterred me enough. Why?

My theory is that the distance from the factory to my hands is too great geographically and conceptually for me to make the connection that it wasn't some faceless and anonymous worker who made this product but rather a human being with a soul. The close I make the connection the harder it becomes for me to allow the exploitation.

But let's separate foreign made goods from the equation. Abuses are occurring here in our own backyard. Think of all the migrant workers who earn barely enough to feed themselves and their families after working 15 hour days. Are they being treated justly? Is our motivation for lack of action based on how much we pay for orange juice?

In the end our values must be in sync with the core of what it means to be Christian. We are thoroughly intertwined with this world. We have let it embed itself into our everyday life. But we are not of this world. Rather, we have been sent back into the world to change it for the better. Could we resolve to consume more responsibly? I'm not sure but I like to think that we could try a little a time to influence those around us, our elected officials and others. The irony that I am typing this blog post on a computer made by possibly exploited workers is not lost on me. Instead it saddens me and reminds that no matter how little the issue may seem, if it affects someone then it should concern all of us.

Obedience As A Four Letter Word.

Today our younger students, ages 3-10 spoke about one of their favorite subjects: Obedience. Growing up I distinctly remember the concept of obedience, the need to obey those who were older and wiser as one lesson I did not want to learn. Adults seemed to only lord their authority over children and people at church always emphasized that if I loved God that I should always do what he says. As a child obedience was always abstract and distant while the enforcement of a rule was always up close and personal. Now that I am older and pondering each day my Christian faith, I see that it is the rules that must be placed at a distance and the idea of being obedient that must be closer to my heart on a daily basis.

Let me preface this by facing that there are definite rules handed down by God that we are called to follow.  You can start of course with the Ten Commandments. These handy guidelines for life are essential in helping us to understand our relationship with God and with those around us. But we should also look to the simple, but very difficult, commandment that Christ offers. When he tells us to "Love our neighbors as ourselves" he is not disregarding the old Law. He is placing it in a language that crystallizes the essence of the message: love. Love is at the core of the rules God has asked us to follow. Love is also at the center of our obedience to him. As Saint Paul says so famously "If I have not love...".

So then what is the relationship between obedience and love. I prefer to begin by looking at whom I am called to obey. Is is someone who knows more than me, has authority over me, is seeking to guide me? If the answer is no then obedience is not required. If the answer is yes then I must examine my relationship with them and seek ways to obey. In looking at the relationship with our parents and those who take care in raising us we realize that more than anything they seek to protect, guide us, and mold us into strong and healthy individuals. All things that grow require nurturing and guidance. I remember a tree that was planted in my front yard fifteen years ago. As a sapling it needed the constraints of guide ropes and stick in order to help it grow straight. At first it may have seemed that we were hurting the tree and desiring to simply mold it into something that we saw that a tree should be. But in reality we were trying to help the tree become the best tree it could be.

Such is the same with God and us. He is not seeking to infringe upon our free will. Our free will is a gift from God that makes us the most unique of all his creations. But that will is not perfect and needs limits. It needs constraints and guides that help us to see how to become the best human beings we can be. In a Christian sense this goes deeper to mold us into the image of Jesus Christ. Christ serves as our model of obedience because he had the option and the opportunity to defy God's will but instead chose, through a perfect and sinless will, to follow God's plan of salvation through to the end.

In a practical sense this requires an enormous amount of humility. Unfortunately in our society humility has not been a trait greatly praised and promoted. Instead we are to proud of ourselves in all things, revel in our rebelliousness, and declaring any supposed authority of God as unjust. If our own authority, our own ways of living and loving one another are so good, then it begs the question: why have we not advanced in our humanity?

The answer is simple. We still need God as a guide. We still Jesus Christ to serve as our savior and our example. If we had the power to do so ourselves then we would have done so long ago. In the end, obedience is not about following a set of arbitrary rules. It is about learning how we are to love God and one another. It is about humbling ourselves to the point where we can admit that we don't know what is best for in every moment. It is saying "Lord not my will, but your will be done."

And the TRUTHS Will Set Us Free?

One of the benefits of living in a diverse society is that we are blessed in being able to learn about the numerous views and beliefs of those around us. It has become more and more difficult to simply insulate ourselves from outside opinions in the hopes that we won't be challenged.

One downside to that diversity is that it has become so ingrained into our lives and so pervasive in our upbringings that we have found it more and more difficult too determine what we belief in relation to others. We recognize the value of varying viewpoints but are less and less and able to identify our own in relation those around us.

A discussion I have been having with my students is the concept of truth. What is truth? What purpose does it serve? How do we recognize it? These questions are fundamental to our pursuit of knowledge but also our understanding or our own identity. Even more important, these questions point directly to the knowledge that informs our sense of faith.

I began by asking the most basic question to these students: where does truth come from? They responded by stating that truth was either facts or opinion. It was facts when it related to science or medicine, things like the the law of gravity and the existence of a circulatory system. But truth is just opinion when it comes to ideas of right and wrong. They gave the primary example of religion and ethics.  In other words what is right and true for one individual may not be right for all people. All are equally true. This view is relativism at its core.

It is convenient to roll our eyes at arguments of truth, especially when it comes to issues of faith which have produced profound suffering and confusion. However, to ignore the argument is to condemn ourselves to a perpetual limbo of uncertainty.  It takes a great deal of courage to take a position and defend it as just or true. It takes an even more ardent spirit to declare that you know the truth when someone is arguing with great intensity that they also possess the truth and it is not the same as yours.

My view has been and continues to be that there is one truth. This truth is not based on politics, economics, or the society in which I live. Rather this truth is based on the person of Jesus Christ, the Incarnation of the one living God. This in itself is a provocative statement because it flies in the face of every other competing theology or way of interpreting the world. My discussion here is not to present all the facts as to why Jesus Christ is as he said "the way, the truth, and the life", but rather to present the dilemma that so many of us face on a daily basis.

If we contend that truth is ultimately relative, that what is good for one might not be good for another, then we open ourselves up to the possibility of justifying the greatest atrocities. An example I gave in class are the women who under the Taliban who were killed simply for attending school. The men who committed those heinous crimes believed themselves to be right and justified according to their beliefs. However, I along with many others consider them to be wrong and unjustified. Relativism at its core would tell me that I cannot judge their society or place my own standards of morality and ethics upon them. When faced with a practical example that violates our innate knowledge of right and wrong relativism crumbles.

In the end, as Christians we must learn to educate and evangelize without passing judgement. We must demonstrate love and the truth of the Gospel with humility because we did not receive this knowledge and grace on our own but rather it has been a gift to us from others and firstly from Christ himself.  Our pursuit of the truth must be one of our deepest motivations as individuals seeking the best for ourselves. If we do not seek the truth we will be left where all things are true and as a result the truth will elude and never set us free.

An Occupational Vocational Hazard

Last week I began the arduous task of filling out the necessary paperwork to apply for scholarships to seminary. Forget for a moment the questions the scholarships asked me (that's a whole other blog post). One form specifically asked me to detail my future budget for the coming year. At my core I am a planner and in order to understand the world around me I need to look at all the data around me in order to be able to see where I am going and where I should go. Needless to say I have thought extensively about the dramatic change going to seminary in Tennessee will mean for myself and my family. It won't just be a change of scenery with the high probability of snow on top of a mountain. It will be a lifestyle change complete with different friends, different schedules, and a dramatic drop in income.

This last aspect came into focus when I began filling out said form. I realized that I would be gainfully unemployed and a full-time student once again. Keep in mind that my concern isn't about money. My wife and I have always lived with the belief that people who work hard and have faith in God will find a way to survive. The truth is that we have been abundantly blessed by a generous God who has given us a lifestyle that I can only begin to describe as comfortable. But filling out that form also crystallized another thought for me. In choosing this vocation I was placing my faith in God that not only would he support me and my family, but that I was telling the world that money is not the most important thing.

Too often I have seen young and old alike tell me that I could be making so much more money in my previous profession of international business. They tell me to imagine the possibilities of private jets, expensive dinners, and of course the car of my dreams. But while those things are nice, they have never appealed to me in such a way that I could not live without them. Going to seminary will be about embracing a simple life dedicated prayer, study, and time building the bonds within my family. It will be about living in solidarity with other men and women who have chosen to dedicate their lives to God in such a way that is countercultural to the norms of our society telling us to chase wealth at all cost.

In a few short months I will uproot my children from the only home they have ever known, the only one my wife and I have ever owned and leave Tampa Florida. Though it is only for three years it will be a grand adventure that will open my heart and eyes in ways that I cannot yet imagine.  My sincere prayer is that I will be willing to go where God's leads me, that I won't complain too much when he chides me, and that I will use this opportunity "to help souls".

Sharing In His Dream

This morning I celebrated chapel with the Upper School, i.e. the High School students. I've found that when I am able to deliver a lesson to them that it can be a mixed bag. I know that some of them are listening but I wonder how many are taking to heart what I said. The most difficult part of this job is to demonstrate emotion and sincere interest in what one is doing when the same is not always returned to you. I decided over the weekend that the only thing I could deliver a lesson on was the life, death, and dream of Martin Luther King Jr. I have to admit, as I do in the lesson, that I feel a disconnection with him because I was not alive during his lifetime. However, I feel the power of his dream today and I wanted these students to get a glimpse of that dream in what I said to them. Below is the text from my lesson.

When I began to think about Martin Luther King Jr. Day and what meaning it has for me I had to admit that I felt a genuine disconnection. I wasn’t alive when he worked, and I still wasn’t alive when he was killed. So I began to focus instead on the idea that people have gone before me, people I have never met, who have helped me. This goes beyond family, beyond friendship. It speaks to that common humanity we share, the capacity to love and to be loved, and the ability to care for others regardless of the harm it may bring to us.

That is the essential Christian message that King preached, that regardless of what we saw on the outside, what mattered was the image of a creator common to all of us. The beauty of our wonderful 21^st century is that we are noticing race and color less and less. Make no mistake, there is still racism and prejudice in our world, but we have also redoubled our efforts to fight against it. How do I know that we are making progress? Something interesting happened to me my first month here.

I was walking from the campus center back to the Upper School. All of a sudden I heard a voice yell “Fr. Joel!” I turned around because I was curious to see if Fr. Joel was behind me so I could say hello. All I saw was a student who waved at me. I asked her if she knew who I was. She said “sorry Chaplain Alex, from behind you look like Fr. Joel.”

Now I’m no police sketch artist but from the front or back I know I don’t look like a 5’10” 60 year old man descended from Sweden. Then it hit me. All she saw was the black clothing. She didn’t notice the color. It hadn’t occurred to her.

This has enormous meaning for me. Considering that 60 years ago I would never have been allowed to wear this cassock, or even hope to be ordained, her color-blindness touched me to the core.

You could venture to say that we are learning to see through new eyes. But just because racism has become one of the most identifiable adversaries of peace, it doesn’t mean it is the only one. Anytime we choose to judge someone based on their appearance or any other preconceived notion we rob them of their humanity and we blind ourselves a little more.

Now some of you may be asking what any of this has to do with me? The answer is simple. As the future leaders of this world you will be given the power to change the world, to rally us around the beauty of our differences and the humanity we have in common.

Martin Luther King Jr. died for a dream that we would be judged first and foremost by the content of our character. That is a tall order for all of us to live up to, but one that I am sure everyone here can participate in helping to come true. There is still work to be done. And if you have been waiting for an invitation to join that work. You have been given one today.

Ethically Speaking #2

Continuing the discussion from last week, I would like to share more of the responses from Global Ethics class. It is a class that I am co-teaching with another teacher. He focuses on presenting certain concepts through texts and lectures while I have the pleasure of challenging the students by presenting them with questions and scenarios that force them to apply a set of ethical standards or a decision-making process to a problem.

Working with these students has been nothing less than extraordinary for any number of reasons. The first reason has to be that rather than being told what is right and wrong, these students are being engaged and challenged to reveal what they feel is the proper course of action. It is a revelatory moment when all that we have taught them, all that they have learned and absorbed comes out in ways that we could not imagine. The second reasons is that it empowers these students, preparing them for the roles they will fulfill as adult members in our society. We as parents, educators, and others have placed enormous pressure on these students to perform and to live up to certain expectations. It is interesting to see how they interpret the values we have stated as most important when the moment comes to make a life-altering decision. Lastly, and one that concerns me on several levels is how these students, and through them gain a glimpse of the larger society, understand what it means to be moral. This is prefaced by stating the obvious: that my unique perspective comes finds its roots in the Gospel, in the Christian message concerning life and death, how we see ourselves and others created in the image of God.

While the first scenario challenged these students to make a moral decision that would effect individuals they had never met and formed a personal connection with, this new scenario does the exact opposite. It places two people are intimately close to the individual in seemingly direct conflict.

It is as follows:

If you are a woman, you are faced a difficult decision. You have just found that you have cancer. However, you are also three months pregnant. Your doctors have informed you that in order to survive you must begin radiation and chemotherapy immediately. However, doing so will terminate the pregnancy. If the pregnancy is allowed to continue to term the child will survive but you will not. Your husband has stated that this is your decision and that he will follow your wishes. A last factor to consider is that you have already given birth to one child who is 3 years old.

If you are man, you are being faced with the same scenario. The only change is that your spouse has given you the final decision as to whether or not she will undergo the life-saving treatment. She will follow your wishes.

In this limited hypothetical situation, no amount of science present or future will allow the child to be born now and survive. Also, no amount of treatment will allow the mother to survive to her passed her due date.

The question is clear: Does the mother undergo the treatment or not? What are some of the ethical questions present? What is your rationale for undergoing or forgoing the treatment? How does your definition of human life play into this?

It is easy to see why this question presents the reader with a plethora of concerns. It is a decision that would be deeply personal, painfully emotional, and require careful reflection. One is tempted to believe that there is no possibly correct answer. However, the purpose of the question in this exercise with these students is to convince them to reveal their beliefs and values, which as previously stated has been formed by many sources and influences. I also prefaced this scenario by saying that my wife and, like many young couples, have agonized over this decision and not come to a consensus demonstrating just how confusing it can be.

The student responses were fascinating. But as usual their thought processes are what revealed more. They began asking questions like: what's the mother's job? They also asked what the capacity was of the father to care for two children without another parent? But more than what they asked was what they contended. Some argued that because the mother had already lived a full life that it was not the baby's turn. Others disagreed and said that it was always possible to have another child later on. Still others became more direct, and more extreme by stating that there was not really an ethical decision because the baby was not technically alive or viable which fell into direct contrast with others who stated that innocent life with no voice was more valuable than a life who had a voice to defend itself.

This spurred a discussion on the value of human life which completely threw the class for a loop. I asked them, "what gives value to human life?". They responded with many of the standard answers our society provides.

"How educated you are. We've been taught that education is everything."

"Wealth. That way you can do more and be more."

"How much you can do for yourself and others."

I followed up by asking them if characteristics like race, creed, perceived beauty, language and other things made a difference. They answered by stating that it could potentially make a huge difference. Then I threw them a curveball. I asked them the question that each of us must face when we look in the mirror and we see others. "Does a human being possess a value, an inherent value, that is independent from the perceived value of others?".

A profound silence followed. They asked: "what other value could there be?"

And at that point my heart wept for them. It wept because we have taken great pains to build our children up by acknowledging and celebrating what they do. But we have not always acknowledged the value they have in our eyes and God's eyes simply for being. When I proposed that both the mother and the child had the same inherent value many of them balked at the idea.

"It hasn't done anything yet."

"It hasn't helped anyone, or learned to communicate, or even been born. How can it have the same value as an adult human?"

Therein lies the question. It is a question that many people around the world face in one form or another. It is where our self-interest and our perceived values of individuals meet. It is where the ethical dilemma becomes a dilemma.

At the end of the discussion I challenged the students to strip away everything about themselves and others that deals with what they do, both for themselves and others, and ask "what is left?". What I didn't tell them is that if what is left behind is nothing then we are left with a profound darkness. We are left with a deep chasm where our soul, our createdness in God used to be. As Christians we are called to view each other through the eyes of Christ. We are called to see now what men see but rather what God sees. What God creates he loves. What he loves he sustains. And what he sustains he reconciles to himself. The beginning of any argument about life and death must be at the point where God's creation meets our acknowledgement as co-creators with him. We do not create human life. Rather we are co-creators and stewards of it. After that realization come the integration of our personal experiences, our biases, our self-interests and most of all our brokenness.

I will not give the definitive answer for this scenario. I will not even give my decision. I will say that those agonize about it are certainly in tune with the tension that each of us faces when our consciences are in conflict. If we are preach the Gospel and to raise and educate children who will listen and act on it as well, we must begin by telling them that their value to us is great, but that their value to God is immeasurable.

Ethically Speaking #1

There are moments in life, I am sure, that we are absolutely floored by what we hear or witness. It can be an innocent comment or one that is made in a moment of unprecedented honesty. Either way, it is important to understand where what was said came from in the person who said it, and what in us reacts to that belief or thought.

I am currently working with another teacher in conducting a course in global ethics and literature. After my fiasco regarding the teaching of spirituality I have dramatically lowered my expectations about what these students have been taught about the realm of ethics and ethical thinking. Instead I set out to change my method. I would take the two days that I would be in the classroom not to lecture but to listen. I have found that the one thing students don't do enough of is sharing their opinion on something that is relevant to the world and to them. So rather than bore them with the theories of ethics (which I plan to do later), I would present them ethical dilemmas that test their decision-making processes and force them to choose what they would in a variety of situations.

The first one was a timely one. With the one year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti I decided to test the reactions these students would have to being called to help. I gave them the following scenario.

You are a student at a college or university and the earthquake in Haiti has occurred. You have an indispensable skill that would save lives if you went down there. However, you also have exams that you must take. All but one of your professors will excuse you, giving you an extension. The last one will not relent and announced that you will fail if you do not take the exam when it is given. The added twist is that if you fail the exam you will lose your scholarship, your only means of paying for your education.

I posed this question with some conditions. You cannot appeal to a higher authority and the professor will not relent. You needn't worry about transportation or room and board while in Haiti. I also asked them to present a rationale for their decision which weighed the risks and consequences of either decision.

I was not shocked when I learned that the majority of the students decided to stay and not go to be a part of the humanitarian effort. Our society has placed such an emphasis on the importance of education that our very lives seem to be tied to what degree we earn and the money associated with the career we choose. What shocked me were the rationalizations.

One student rationalized that they could do more good by staying in school and graduating so that they could help more people later. Other students volunteered to aid the effort in other ways such as fund-raising and campaigning. These students were able to recognize their ethical obligation and come up with a solution. What concerned me were the students who had a knee-jerk reaction to the entire exercise and just decided not to go. One student went so far as to say that his life, his future, was considerably more valuable than these people in Haiti.

The point of the exercise was not to come up with a single correct answer. Following one's conscience is not as easy as it may seem. The point of the exercise was to determine if the students were able to have a process that they could use to make these decisions. What saddened me most was not so much that the students chose to stay when lives were at stake, lives that have the same inherent value as yours and mine.

Ethical quandries and conflicts are all around us. As Christians we are called to rely not on our standards but upon the standards that have been set for us by Jesus Christ. The question of "what would Jesus do" may same cliche but it is still no less valid. We are called to a higher purpose and a higher standard than the world. It is interesting to see how we react when called to tough ethical decisions that challenge our safety, our priorities, and our comfort level. Will we respond by what the world tells us to do, what seems rational and intelligent? Or will we respond by what Christ would have done, which flies in the face of the world's wisdom and society's standards? Ultimately, whom we decide to listen to is whom we decide to serve.

"Choose this day whom you will serve. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

Joshua 24:15

Through a Hole in the Wall

It is officially a new year. Last night we reveled and celebrated. We bid adieu to the both the good and bad of the last year and set our sights on what this coming year would have in store for us. I've found with myself and most of the people that I know that the coming of the new year is a great occasion to analyze and assess our successes and failures. We look back on what went right and where we went wrong. Think of every website and television station that does a year end review or discusses the celebrities who have died since the last new year's eve celebration. The sole purpose of all this reflection is to change.

We look to change our relationships, our diets, our attitudes. We look to changing how we eat, how we treat others or let others treat us, and how we see the world. I'm equally guilty of this as last night saw me putting together an ambitious to do list for the coming year. Then I awoke the next morning energized and began cleaning. In theory these habits of new beginnings are not bad. In fact, many consider them to be spiritual and downright Christian. We are called to turn away from what we have done wrong and begin a new life. So we conclude that we must strengthen ourselves in some way, increase our resolve...have a greater resolution!

But in the end all that strength is for naught. It is a lie because we are telling ourselves that we can do it of our own accord, or our own will. In reality, if we had been able to accomplish these ambitious goals of fundamentally changing who we are then we would have done it a long time ago. So what was missing? It's easy to just insert "God" and then move on. But what's more difficult is to discern how God plays a role in changing who we are.

To answer this question we must walk away from everything that this world tells us. We have to engage God on his terms and allow him to change us. In essence, rather than strengthen our resolve we must weaken it. We must weaken our resolve that tells us that we can do all things, know all things, and be all things. We must drop the walls that keep us from God and his ways. I venture to guess that when Saint Paul was discussing weakness and how that when he was weak he was actually strong that he might have meant something like this. His weakness, be it physical, spiritual, emotional, or mental, provided the hole through which God could be allowed to come in and be Paul's strength. I see so many people who are hurt by abusive relationships, deaths in their family, failures both professional and personal and they all ask the same question: "Where is God?" I want to tell them same answer: God is there with you if just let down your wall and let him in.

So while new year's resolutions are to my house ready for the big move, to be a better husband, father, and chaplain, it is more than anything to let the God who loves me love. Perhaps if I lower my wall just enough God can sneak in and surprise me in the ways that only he knows how.

A Prayer for A New Year

Heavenly Father,

As a new year dawns I find myself further from whom I want to be.

I find myself further from you. Help me to lower my walls and defenses

and surrender my heart to your Son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,

Who reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, One God forever and ever. Amen

Happy New Year!