This passed Holy Week I spoke with my rector and mentor about conducting an experiment. I wanted the opportunity to shadow him and get the experience a priest undergoes in serving his congregation during the last and most important week of Lent. It would mean working with him from morning to night and spending more time away from home for work than I had in a long time. I talked about it with Roxanne and she agreed that for both of us I needed this experience.
Father Andrew laid it out for me plainly. I was to help him with the 10am and 7pm services. In the meantime I would accompany him or be in charge of the various hospital visits. That means I would have the opportunity to give communion, pray with, or in some cases pray over the sick. It was clear that this was going to be a challenge but one I was eager to embrace and live up to.
My overall experience was positive. I learned a few things about myself and about my desire to be a priest. I learned that as a persons I need to be less afraid of what I want and make a greater effort to expresss what I want. Those who love me won't leave me just because I to fulfill a need of my own or attend to a work obligation. i also learned that my desire to be a priest is stronger than ever. I love helping peoplef and bringing them the love of Christ when they feel alone or scared. I love it not because it is an ego boost but because I feel like I am gving to others what God has so generously given to me.
The next few months are going to see new challenges as I begin my Clinical Pastoral Education. I know that I don't know enough about helping the sick and dying. I need to learn more so I can be more.
I also learned that one of the greatest challenges to achieving my professional and spiritual goals will be staying true to my family obligations. I love my wife and children so much and I only want them to be happy and know that they are loved. Making sure that I am true to them is one of my biggest priorities.
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