Little Hands, Big Lessons

Just before the beginning of Thanksgiving break at the school it was my privilege to speak to the pre-kindergarten class at the school where I work. It has been my goal to redouble my efforts at making sure that I have some type of learning contact with every student in the school. This means that I have to make use of any opportunity possible to coordinate lesson plans on a variety of subjects and if I am lucky even be able to teach some values. In this case I was asked to work with this class on keeping their hands to themselves. Like all children really, they had gotten into the bad habit of hitting or pinching one another which is just not appropriate in any setting. They hadn't physically hurt each other but it is one of those behaviors that need to be nipped in the bud.

So the question arose, how would I teach these kids to use their hands for good things rather than for getting into trouble? I like being simple and straightforward with kids of a young age. It isn't because they are simple but rather because they are so straightforward and concrete. They don't think in the abstract yet so things really are black and white. My challenge was to teach them something without talking down to them (something that I abhor).

Walking in the students cheered as I sat down in the rocking chair. Whenever I come by this class we sing songs or they teach me something. Since my children are this age or approaching this age I feel like I am home and dealing with my own kids. I find that if you interact with kids in a way that they are comfortable with then you have a better chance to reaching them. In this case we did some circle time. I told them that because they were getting older I was going to teach them something new. I was going to teach them about hands. I asked them first what their hands could do that was good. They replied with the usual suspects like building things or making food. But what surprised me is that the when I asked the kids what are some bad things that hands can do they produced an exhaustive list which included hitting, punching, pinching, and pushing. I was impressed.

So how to explain to them the simple concept of "just keep your hands to yourself".

FIrst I had them look at their hands. I asked to look at their fingers, the shape of their hands and how while everyone has hands and they are all different everyone has the choice as to what they will do with their hands. I then told them that sometimes try to get a mind of their own and that they need to be told what to do. I had them hold out their hands and say forcefully "hands, you belong to me. You do what I say!". I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous but they did it. And when they did it I think that they saw for a moment how powerful our hands can be. OUr hands can create and destroy, and not just physical things. Our hands can help to heal or harm us spiritually. They can contribute to the positive of the world or help to cause its suffering.

The lesson for us adults (and children at heart) is that no matter our age, our hands are still a great responsibility. Think of what you do with your hands on a daily basis. Does it cause suffering or does it help others? Does it advance the kingdom of God or does it try to tear it down? If we look to our example in Christ we find someone who offered up his hands to healing, hard work, and eventually surrender to death itself. The scars on his hands are a testament to his willingness to give everything of himself in the service of those whom he loved.

I like to think that we will judged by how many scars we have on our hands. Do we have the scars of someone who has offered themselves up even if it meant we were going to suffer for it? Do we have the scars of being rejected for our faith? Or will our hands show someone who did everything in their power to avoid the hard things in the Christian life? If little hands can try to hear the message then perhaps those of us with bigger hands and bigger responsibilities can take that same lesson home.

picture from google images

Future Defenders of Human Life

Part of what makes the study of ethics so fascinating for me is that in order to get to the core of the issues at hand we must also recognize the people whom it effects. Ethical decisions do not occur in a vacuum but rather have real consequences on real people. At the same time we cannot allow our ethical decisions to be based on purely emotional responses. The study of ethics became real for me again as I entered into the discussion with students in a biology class. They were debating the question of whether or not the government should designate federal funding for stem cell research. If it did, the second question was whether or not it should place any restrictions on the types of cells used or how those cells were managed. With thousands of people suffering from diseases or conditions that would benefit from the application of future stem cell research it is no wonder why this debate has heated to the boiling point. The question for ethicists and for people of faith like myself is if the research being conducted is endangering human life in its earliest forms. The answer is invariably and unequivocally yes.

I did not come to this conclusion lightly. I came to this conclusion after looking at the scientific facts, understanding the nature of life itself and weighing the benefit versus the cost.

The scientific facts that I have been able to gather in studying this subject with this class is that there are two kinds of stem cells. The first are embryonic. And while many contend that these are the best stem cells for research they do require the destruction of a live embryo. Herein lies the debate. The second kind of stem cell are those taken from adults in areas such as bone marrow and other areas of the human body. These stem cells do not always provide the best opportunity for research but do not involve the moral quagmire that the use of embryonic stem cells causes.

My understanding of the nature of human life is that it begins at conception. I understand that is neither a comfortable or convenient conclusion for many people because it limits what science can research and many personal decisions we may be forced to make. However, understanding that life, even in its earliest form is life does prevent us as a society from taking the approach that life is only life when it is useful, or free from suffering, or able to conduct basic tasks. If any of these conditions are not met then the individual ceases to be classified as alive and can be disposed of, ignored, or worse. If for example we were to surmise that a person is a live when they are born then it opens the door to abortion. If we argue that a person is alive when they can express themselves, their sentience or intelligence, then we can have infanticide, euthanasia, or the killing of the mentally disabled. It is the epitome of a slippery slope.

The cost on the other side of this moral debate is not cheap. Many people are literally dying as they wait for this research to move forward. But I would ask if they would want another person to die so that they could live (and I do not mean as in an organ transplant where the donor's death has no relationship to the recipient's need).

In serving God and serving others I must look carefully and compassionately with everyone in this ethical situation. One thing I cannot afford to do is judge the motivations or circumstances of any other person. Instead I must listen before I can begin to educate and inform them of what might be God's will in their life. Too many times we have debated with others instead of inviting them to discussion. We inadvertently ignore their pain in the desire to be simply right.

What frightens me is that our children today are being taught so many conflicting lessons on the sanctity of human life. They are being taught that one life can be traded for another. It is very much the "culture of death". But the good news is that there will always be those who promote life. But that promotion must be compassionate and eager to listen to the circumstances of those who are suffering through these decisions.

The Harvest Is Plentiful

As part of my duties as chaplain at the Episcopal where I work I have been given the wonderful opportunity to guest lecture in several classes. I admit that I don't have the same knowledge of science that a science teacher would possess but that I am still able to offer a specific set of insights into the ethical and moral issues that science faces on a daily basis. I have always been a fan of the arts, humanities, history, and English, so being able to speak about faith, the history of Christianity, the literary tools of the scriptures and many other topics is enriching for me. I can only hope that it is enriching for the students subjected to my lessons!

Today was particularly interesting because I was given the task of discussing 1st century Christianity in Rome. In essence I was being asked to discuss the origins of Christianity, who this person known as Jesus was and what effect if any he has had on the world. I began by discussing some of the more factual aspects of their previous lessons as learned from the textbook. Once we had a background knowledge I was able to discuss the theological aspects that were not found in the book and to expound a little on what it might have meant for a first century Jew or follower of Jesus to hear and process these events.

What I received in return completely floored me. Of course there were some students who had no interest in what I was saying and were more intent on being disruptive than contributing to the conversation. Others however had insightful questions that demonstrated their ability to critically think through the issues of what it means to be Christian both for those who have gone before us and those of us who are believers today. They asked questions like "why would someone lay down their life for this belief?". They also asked "What appealed to the apostles that they were willing to leave everything they knew and follow Jesus?". Any person who works in ministry longs to hear these questions. They are the questions of someone who has opened their hearts and minds to the possibility of seeing the world in a new way. It means that they are open to accepting Jesus Christ.

The only thing that saddened me was that many of these students had little or no knowledge of who Jesus was or what he taught. They had the vague notions of "the Good Shepherd", or the "the Savior", but they were abstract concepts not ones that they could take to heart. The discussion culminated when I described the relationship we are called to have with God as a covenant, a marriage of hearts, and not just an obligation that we fulfill. They had no context in which to understand this love. If they had, they certainly weren't able to access it.

Today's lesson gave me hope as well as worried me. As Jesus said, the harvest is plentiful. The number of people who are truly ready to hear the Good News of the Gospels is many. But how many of us are willing to accept the role of harvester? How many of us in our daily lives are ready and open enough to share our faith with those who need it more than they need the air around them to breathe? The challenge in the future will be finding hands that are ready to drop everything and work. My question to all of us is thus: "What are you holding in your hands that you are not willing to let go of for Christ?"

An Attitude of Gratitude

The following is the text from my lesson to the Upper School Chapel for Thanksgiving

Next week is Thanksgiving. I can hardly believe that how fast this semester has gone by. We’ll blink once and it will be Christmas. We’ll blink again and it will be graduation.

Sadly, thanksgiving has become a lost holiday of sorts. We gather as a family, eat lots of food, watch some football, and if you’re anything like my extended family avoid meaningful conversation with each other at all costs. Giving thanks then consists of going around the table and saying how thankful we are for our family, the food in front of us, and of course this day of thanks. But I can assure you that none of us has gone nearly far enough.

A professor of mine once counseled me about having “an attitude of gratitude”. It means that instead of paying lip service to how thankful we are about something to instead demonstrate it.

If you’re thankful for the food you eat, by all means please tell the person who made it thank you. But also make sure that the person who cooked the wonderful mean doesn’t also clean up the mess. And of course never forget that the best way to show gratitude for our daily bread is to find ways to share it with those who have no food at all.

If you’re thankful for your family and friends, please tell them how much you appreciate them. Find little ways to return the love they have so unselfishly given to you. And of course never forget to show love to those who have no friends or family at all, especially this time of year.

And if you are thankful for your education, for the opportunities that are being placed before you, for the fact that you are alive, please tell your teachers, coaches and God “thank you”. But don’t ever forget that a demonstration of that thanks is what you do with the knowledge you have gained here, and what you will accomplish with that opportunities set before you. How you live this life gifted to us by our creator is the gift you give to him in return.

So enjoy next week’s festivities; the food, the family and football. And keep that attitude of gratitude with you always.

picture from www.whatscookingamerica.net

It Won't Be Easy

On Sunday our priest delivered a great sermon on one of most confusing pieces of scripture that I have ever read. It is the Gospel reading in Luke where the disciples marvel at the splendor of the temple and Jesus tells them that one day "not one stone will be left on another". The disciples of course were shocked about this they kept asking how this was going to happen. Jesus used this as an opportunity to help them see that following Him, taking up their cross was not going to be easy. In fact, it could probably cost them their lives. This isn't exactly what they wanted to hear but it was the truth. As Christians today I wonder if we hear this message enough. Or rather do we cling to the feelings of joy and completeness that our union with God can bring and ignore the great responsibility we have as evangelizers and servants?

One of the roles of a Christian that has been on my heart the most lately has been that of evangelizer. There are couple of people who I am trying to serve by introducing them to Christ and helping them understand who he was and what role he can have in their life. But I also feel awkward in that I am not always telling them how hard it can be to be Christian. Do we sometimes lead with the best and then tell them the rest later? I think that first we have to tell people who Christ is and what he has done for us. After that we must demonstrate, not just tell them, how hard it can be to live the Christian life. With the people I am serving now I want them to see my struggles, not just my successes. I want them to see the great things that God has done through me even though I am sinful and unworthy of his love. I hope that in seeing that they will see that while the Christian life can be arduous that it is ultimately fulfilling because it is how we grow closer to God. In essence we realize that Christ has made the way for us, had paid the price for us, and calls us back to the Father who longs only to love us.

Whether or not the people I evangelize to will see that I do not know. I can only hope that the Holy Spirit will always be present in what I say and what I do.

Conquering the Wall

On Monday I was able to attend the first day of the Freshmen retreat to the DaySpring Episcopal Conference Center. I had really had little idea what to expect because while I knew that they were doing something called the "high ropes" course I had no concept of what that meant. I knew that the goal of the retreat was to build teamwork and cohesion across group lines among this class. I was eager to see how they worked together and if they were able to be vulnerable and open to being challenged. I was pleasantly surprised.

The day began early and as we arrived at Dayspring I began to understand my role as complimentary to the work being done a by an excellent group known as "Pathfinders". They would be running the activities and as chaperones we were being asked to help supervise and ease the transition from one group to another. If we wanted to go one step further we could help by participating in the activities and modeling them for the students, as long as we didn't come up with the answers.

The first few team building exercises were humorous as tasks as simple as balancing a hula hoop with just one finger became an arduous task of communication and coordination. Over time I began to see leaders emerge, as well as those individuals who had great communication skills but were just a little shy.

After lunch, we walked out to the high ropes and my mouth fell aghast as I looked up at the 40 ft tall revenger wall. Would I do this? Could I do this?

One thing I have learned since my 20's is that you must take risks. You must put yourself out there in order to succeed. And if you should happen to fail then you will have gained a valuable lesson. Either way, you have to do it. I felt as if I had to no choice but to participate, to test myself and to allow those present to see that all of us are challenged and need to keep trying. I watched other students attempt the climb. For some it proved to be to difficult and they couldn't make it up passed the initial netting. For others, the climb seemed to second nature and the completed it quickly. However, there was one student who took his time and didn't let the initial desire to quit keep him from trying. He stuck with it and conquered the wall, his smile beaming from the top of the platform.

So when it was finally my turn I looked up at the wall and gulped. I am not the strongest man in the world. I have climbed a version of these walls before but nothing this difficult. I began the climb confident and started making way up steadily. But then I hit a roadblock as I could not reach the next handhold. My hands struggled to keep a grip and I could not leverage myself up. Eventually I had to give up and admit defeat.

My students still cheered me on as I came down. They were impressed that I had endeavored to even try the climb. Those who had not completed it empathized with me and I felt a bond develop. I wasn't ashamed that I hadn't reached the summit. I relearned the lesson that I need to learn everyday. I can't do certain things on my own. This life, this vocation I have will never be accomplished without God's help, without the help of good Christian people to support me. Even when I fall I know that God is there to catch me. And if the fall is especially painful then I know that he is there to help me get back up again.

I am happy that I got to learn those lessons with my students. I hope that we all keep them for years to come.

A Message to My Senior Students

Each fall students across the country submit tens of applications to colleges and universities. The ones who work so hard on each essay, study extra hours for standardized tests and join extra curricular activities feel the burden most of all. They feel as if a piece of themselves is going out with each application and that if they aren't accepted that it is they who are being rejected and not just their qualifications. This broke my heart a bit because I had been through this process in the last couple of years when I applied to graduate school for my doctorate in Theology or Religious Studies. I wanted these students to see that they were made beautifully in God's image and that they were not just a test score or essay. The sermon I gave in chapel reflected that. Here it is below.


Upper School Chapel

This year colleges and universities across the country will receive a record number of applications. One top tier school received over 37,00 applications. However, the reality is that only that they can accept only 7% to their freshmen class. I don’t have to tell you that the competition is fierce, that the pressure to achieve is nearly overwhelming and that in an instant your hopes can be dashed and your self-confidence shaken.

I bring this up because I have seen the stress on many of your faces. It’s the same look that every high school student will wear at some point in their career here. I’ve seen you working hard to juggle applying to a number of schools while staying focused on your classes and extra curricular activities.

The message I want to deliver this morning is simple. You are more than a college application. You are not a test score or an essay. You are not a resume or recommendation letter.

In the spring of 2009 I began the process of applying to graduate schools in the hopes of earning my doctorate in theology or religious studies. I believed that becoming a professor would have been the greatest accomplishment of my life. I applied to Boston College as my first choice and Florida State (my alma mater) as my backup. I flew to Boston in the dead of winter for my campus visit, met every professor and tried to make the best first impression I could. I visited FSU and did the same thing. I came home confident that I would be accepted somewhere. I even prayed to God that he would give me this dream. And then I waited. I waited for what seemed like an eternity.

When I got the rejection letters I was disheartened and dumbfounded. Had they not liked me? Was I not good enough for them? Why had God not given me this? After some soul searching and prayer I did two things.

1. I threw away the 30 year plan that I had written for my life which outlined everything that I would accomplish and everywhere I would go. I decided to let the God of surprises, the God who guides and loves, who knows what is best for me into what I was doing. I opened myself open to being challenged and taken in directions I could never have imagined.

2. I put the letters on the fridge. My wife asked “why?” I told her that those letters were just one view about me from people I barely knew, people who barely knew me. I wasn’t going to let them define who I was.

I stand before you today convinced I did the right thing. I let God lead me to my vocation, to this school, to this moment with all of you. And I have never been happier.
So to all of you in the thick of college apps, or who will be one day soon, I encourage you to look closely at who you are, someone wonderfully made in the image of God, not a test score, not an essay. You.

End Sermon.


This world will always try to define us by something other than our true identity. If I had to say what my identity was I would say husband, father, son and brother. But the first way I would identify myself is "Child of God". That is who made me. That is who sustains me.

What is a Saint?

Here is the text from the sermon I gave during today's All Saints Day Chapel at the school where I am a chaplain.


All Saints Day Sermon

The number one question that I get asked on All Saints Day is “Chaplain, did you bring any candy from Halloween?”

The number two question I get asked is “Who or what is a saint?” What's most amazing is that the answer is simple to learn but very difficult to accept.

The definition of a saint that I learned growing up was that a saint was a person who did two things. The first was that they admitted that they needed God, that they recognized their imperfections and their sinfulness. The second was that when God called them, they said yes.

Like I said, it sounds simple. But it's harder than we think.

When we look at the saints of history, the saints that are celebrated by the church they all have one thing in common: they were sinful and imperfect people. They were liars, thieves, cheaters, and sometimes worse. They weren't people who walked around with halos around the top of their heads. But they also had a moment when they felt God's presence. It could have been at a time when they feared for their lives, or just a moment when they hit rock bottom and they prayed for God to save them. No matter what it was, they felt God's presence in a special way and accepted his love. They allowed that love to transform them, to change them into people who were still sinners, but who were willing to try and live a good life that focused on helping people rather than hurting them.

That brings us to the second part of being a saint; saying yes when God called. For some saints it meant choosing to become a priest or other religious person. For others it meant traveling halfway around the world to bring the Good news about God and Jesus to people who had never heard it. For others it meant sacrificing their lives for what they believed in. But they said yes no matter the cost.

I think this ties in perfectly with today's Gospel. Jesus is giving this beautiful sermon to a group of people and utterly confusing them. He is saying, blessed are you who are poor, or blessed are you who are being hated. I don't know about you but being poor or hated doesn't sound very blessed to me. But you have to look at the second half of his statements. If you are poor, the kingdom of God is yours. And if you are being hated, rejoice because your reward is great in heaven. Jesus is saying that the choice to follow him, the choice to follow God isn't easy. You will encounter resistance. You will suffer. You will have times when you aren't accepted. But if you persist your rewards will be great.

Now here is where this gets interesting. The only difference between the saints of the past that we revere and all of us today? They are dead and we are alive. We are all sinners and we are all faced with the same choice that they were. So the challenge becomes: will we accept the invitation? Will we be willing to say yes when so many others around us say no? It can be as simple as choosing how you treat everyone around you.

It's easy to think of names like Mother Theresa and Saint Francis of Assissi. They give such great examples of holiness that have inspired millions of people around the world. People have written books about them. But it's harder to recognize the saints whose names we don't know, like the teacher who stays after school to work with a struggling student, or a parent who sits and reads a story to their child after a grueling day of work, or the student who encourages another student through a difficult time. They are all saints.

I like to think that the reason it's called All Saints day is because we are all saints, not just for a day though. We are all called to be saints throughout our lives, to say yes to a God who is inviting us.

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus offers a parable which is one of my favorites. He tells the story of a man who is throwing a huge banquet. He sends his servants out to tell all his guests that everything is ready. But instead of coming, they all make excuses. They all have something better to do. So he sends his servants out again and brings in the poor, the lame, those who have nothing at all to offer in payment. My brothers and sisters. We are those poor, and lame who have been invited but can’t pay. The question is, will we offer excuses as to why we can’t go? Or will you accept the invitation?

End Sermon.

At first, writing this sermon didn't make me think too much about my own call by God to be a saint. It was only when I began to see the way that God had called me in my role as a chaplain for these students and indeed the whole school that I realized I had to reflect further. I had students come to me with their personal problems and I guided teachers through their own issues as well. I saw how the love of God worked through people, lay and ordained, and how that love is so abundant. Yet if we don't accept it, it can be in dangerously low supply. What is a saint? To me it is a person who is willing to lay down their live, spiritually or literally, for God. It means to say "Yes, I will accept this love and then immediately give it to others." If that is a saint then I want to be one.