Congressional Hearing #1

In the Diocese of Southwest Florida where I reside and where I am pursuing ordination to the priesthood, the process whereby one gains consideration for ordained ministry has changed significantly in the last few years. And while I welcome the changes that normalize and standardize the process I have to admit that it doesn't make it any less stressful or intimidating. As part of the new process, the nomination that comes from the parish must be decided after three meeting where four parish members, an individual the person seeking ordination has never met, and the head of the commission on ministry. These are all good and Godly people who only want the best for me and for the diocese.

But sitting there across from all of them being asked questions about my history, my call to vocation and how I will handle the pressures of being a priest is a little nerve-wracking. It isn't that I am uncomfortable sharing my faith. It isn't that I don't know the answers. Rather, it's that contrary to the belief of so many people, I don't like being the center of attention. I like listening to others, not necessarily talking myself. What made me most nervous was the head of the commission on ministry nodding his head as I spoke. Was he agreeing with what I was saying? Or was he saying to himself "Yep. This guy is crazy!"

I'm not trying to overanalyze everything. It's more centered on feelings of inadequacy. My Christian story is special to me. I have no idea if it would be all that special or interesting to anyone else. I know there is no mold for a priest, but it would be nice to know how some of these people feel about my call to vocation.

I am overanalyzing everything. My Christian story is special. It's special because it's special to God. It's not the drama or action of a story that makes it powerful in God's eyes. Instead, it's the love that God has for us in offering that salvation and forgiveness in the first place that makes our journey to Him special. These people want to hear about how I fell in love with God, how I surrendered my heart to his love. If I tell them that, then I cannot say wrong.

Two more meetings to go. I'll make sure to wear extra deodorant.